I wasn't expecting to begin my day with tears. I've remained very dedicated to my work these past few weeks because the deadline for launching my Hero's Journey course is approaching.
And yes I am angry and I am sad and I feel like my heart is breaking when I see the pictures and watch the protests and look at the news and read the stories, but I haven't given into that deep sadness and that hurting heart that brings tears. My course is about how learning and practicing the Hero's Journey can change our lives, can help us see ourselves as Heroes, and while I often say that all Heroes are afraid at times, I have never said that all Heroes cry.
But Heroes do cry and today I was one of them. I went outside early this morning to see what the temperature was so I could decide when I needed to take my walk. On my way back, I saw a small dead bird lying on the bench near my front door. I picked her up and stroked her softly, telling her how sorry I was that she was gone.
I came inside to look for a small box to bury her, and then when I began to wrap her up I broke down into tears at first, and then into serious sobbing and wailing. I ended up on the floor pounding my fist on the carpet, crying and screaming as though it would never end.
I finally wore myself out, got up and put the little bird in the box, and decided to take my walk and bury her when I returned. But before I left I made a post on Facebook to share what had happened because I didn't want to be alone with the weight of what I was still feeling.
The walk helped. It always does. The rabbits were out in full force, bringing a smile to my face as we played our little game of how close I could get to them before they ran forward and waited for me to get close again. I visited my tree as I do every day, hugging her and talking with her. I told her about the little bird and how much I cried. As usual, she just stood with me listening to everything I said without judging me. And I felt strong again, ready to face my day and get back to work.
When I came back home and went to my computer, I was amazed to find how many people had visited my post and shared their love and their own stories of heartbreak and tears. Now I really knew I was not alone, that we are all at the breaking point at times, and that more tears are flowing than we can imagine.
I saw that we are all heroes, we are all doing the best we can. And yes we fail at times. And we cry at times. And perhaps we don't want others to know about our failures and our crying. But the beauty of what I do that helps us feel strong is I teach that all heroes fail, and now I will also teach that all heroes cry.
So now we can let down our barriers and our need to appear strong and just say quietly that we failed today, that we cried today. We will thank our friends who love us and share their crying times with us, and we will all be stronger for this. After all, we are all heroes.